Change of Plans

While I have been really looking forward to St. Patrick's Day - great weather, going out with friends since it feels like it's been awhile, etc - today I decided to change our plans.

It's a somewhat involved story, but last April my grandpa (89 then) had a pacemaker put in and his body reacted negatively, causing him to have several small heart attacks and strokes and putting him in the hospital for most of the month.  Thankfully since then he's been doing much better, until recently.

I knew it could be potentially serious when my mom talked to be about on what conditions she's wanted to be contacted on while on their Europe trip in February regarding Gpa.  For the past month he's been having some issues and having much energy.  He's been getting blood transfusions every two or three weeks. 

It's sketchy to me what is going on, I know that this week lymphoma was ruled out as a culprit.  Essentially his body is making red blood cells but they're unable to grow and completely mature.  He's up and down, like when my mom called him last week he said he was driving around town looking for the cheapest gas.  He's great after he has a transfusion, but within two or so weeks, he loses all energy again.  When I talked to him yesterday after his doctor appt (they took some blood and put him on B12 vitamins and folic acid), I asked how the appt went and he said "Well babe, as long as I'm still kicking it, life is good".

Something else I should mention is that in 2008 my brother had a destination wedding in Riveria Maya and (obviously) I went.  I was gone Wed-Sun and when I got back to the States, I had a plethora of voicemails and texts.  I didn't really read them and called Ben right away and found out that one of our good high school friends had committed suicide the Thursday I was gone.

Obviously it was heartbreaking, but I was also in a really strange emotional state.  The services had already happened and all of my friends where in a different state of grieving than my initial shock.  It was a really difficult time for me.  And now, because of it, I have a fear that every time I go on a long, out of the country trip, that something is going to happen to someone I love. Thus, given Gpa's current trending conditions, I'm pretty much terrified that he will pass while we're in Europe.

After my mom telling me that my out of town family members are planning trips within these upcoming weekends to see Gpa, I really am worried and want to see him before we leave.  I decided against next Fri-Sun because I'm babysitting overnight Wed and Thurs, so I'd end up being out of the apt Wed-Sun and then just have three nights to finalize packing before we leave for our trip.  The stress of Gpa's health on top of the stress of the trip.

So, since we can't predict the future or when things will happen, I'd rather be safe than sorry and come home to see him rather than if something is to happen while we're on our trip and my regretting that I was consciously aware that I could have seen him before and choose not to, we'll going to the Bulls game tonight (Ben's winning tickets) and heading home tomorrow.

I'll take your prayers, blessing, and postulates for Gpa's health :O) Thank you.